#ranting in this post helped but i also didnt
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HEYYY I LUV UR POSTS LIKE HELLO?!?! also im sure u know abt the bakugo hc with him with him having hearing aids and is it ok of u make like a fic with him signing nasty stuff to reader cuz he can and nobody around them fully learned sign language yet? PLS AND THANK U!!! 💕💕💕
first of all, THANK YOU!! ILYSM!! second, i am BACK!!!! exams went well, i guess. i didnt PASS or FAIL, but whatever.. third, I LOVE THIS IDEA HAHAHHA!!! here is, what I think, a great welcoming back gift to give u all ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ (ignore that Kaminari's text is blue..there's no yellow. ALSO, mina is NAWT taking pink. thats OUR color now.)
Of Silence and Secrets
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𓂅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Pro Hero!Bakugou x AFAB!Pro Hero!Reader
…..
Bakugou Katsuki hated his hearing aids.
Hated how they fit, hated how they felt, and most of all, hated what they represented. Weakness. A crack in the armor he’d spent his entire life forging. When the ringing in his ears started as a brat in middle school, he didn’t think much of it. Just the fallout from a quirk-boosted explosion, nothing he couldn’t handle.
Years passed. The ringing grew into dull hums, muffled voices, and missed sounds. A villain’s retreating taunt he couldn’t catch. The screech of a car he didn’t hear. Kirishima shouting his name three times before Bakugou finally turned around, snarling, “What the hell do you want!?” while Kirishima just looked… worried.
His hearing aids were a damn nuisance. At least, that’s what he told himself every single day.
They whined if someone got too close, buzzed when he adjusted them wrong, and gods forbid he so much as grazed them during a fight—one hard knock, and they’d go flying. He could hear again, sure, but better hearing came at a price: realizing just how insufferably loud the world actually was. Katsuki had spent months in denial, refusing to accept that his ears, like the rest of his high-octane life, couldn’t keep up with him.
The ringing had started in his late teens, growing louder until it followed him everywhere. He blamed it on the explosions, the debris, the constant yelling—but really, he knew. His mom did too, though she’d spared him the lecture until the day Kirishima cornered him in his agency office with a sheepish grin and her voice on speakerphone.
“Katsuki.” The way she said his name—sharp, biting, and so unlike her usual bark of “Oi, you brat!”—made his stomach drop. “What if somethin’ happens? What if you miss an evac order or—hell—a cry for help? Hah? What then?”
“… Tch.” He had scowled so hard it hurt. “Fine. I’ll get the damn things.”
The intervention was humiliating, but the worst part? She was right. He hated that more than anything.
That was the first night he slept with the hearing aids sitting on the nightstand. He’d finally picked them up after a year of constant badgering—from his mom, Kirishima, hell, even that damn Deku. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to hear better—it was the admission that killed him.
But now? Now the stupid things were glued to him. Mostly.
The tech was incredible, of course. Damn nerds at Hero Support had outdone themselves. The hearing aids didn’t just amplify sound; they filtered it, isolating voices during chaos and syncing with comm units. They were waterproof, explosion-proof—Bakugou-proof. Allegedly.
But they weren’t indestructible. He’d broken five pairs in six months. Kaminari had nicknamed him “Break-aid” after the third replacement. Bakugou threatened to shove them where the sun didn’t shine.
And yet… they worked. Too well.
He could hear the scratch of pens during hero conferences, the obnoxious tapping of Kaminari’s foot against the table, the quiet sigh of his own breath. The worst part? The incessant talking. It was everywhere. Fans, reporters, civilians—people who thought their every word needed an audience.
Thankfully, he’d discovered the mute button.
The first time he used it, Kaminari was midway through a rant about his latest gadget. Bakugou, in a rare moment of self-control, didn’t yell. He just flicked the switch, leaned back in his chair, and smirked as Kaminari kept babbling. No explosions, no shouting, just blissful silence.
But there were downsides.
Combat was a nightmare when they broke. Shouting “HUH!?” every five seconds wasn’t exactly strategic. That’s when he decided to learn sign language. Not because anyone suggested it—hell no. But because he’d be damned if he relied on a gadget to do his job.
The process was… frustrating. Hands clumsy, movements stiff. Kirishima tried to help, but his signs were barely legible. Kaminari? Useless. Sero was too busy laughing to be much better or resorted to typing in the Notes app on his phone when it was pretty serious. Deku? That nerd had picked it up in a week, naturally.
But you? You made it bearable.
“Like this,” you’d said, your fingers forming a perfect sign. “Thumb tucked in.”
Bakugou grumbled, but copied you.
“Good. See? That wasn’t so bad, was it, ’Suki?”
Your patience annoyed him almost as much as it calmed him. And somehow, over weeks of practice, his stiff movements turned fluid. He’d never admit it, but he liked having this… language, this connection, with you.
And then he realized something else.
You understood him. Not just the signs, but him. The sharpness he couldn’t quite soften, the quiet gratitude he couldn’t voice. And better yet? No one else around him could understand a damn thing he was saying.
It started innocently enough—well, innocent by his standards.
“Bored out of my goddamn mind,” he’d signed at you during a hero conference.
You’d smirked and replied, “Same.”
But then, Bakugou being Bakugou, had an epiphany: he could sign anything.
The first time he tried it, you were sitting across from him at a formal hero banquet. The room was filled with pro heroes, reporters, and politicians. Everyone was dressed to the nines, sipping champagne and pretending the world wasn’t on fire outside.
Bakugou caught your eye and, with the most deadpan expression, signed: Wanna fuck?
Your head snapped up so fast you nearly knocked your glass over. You choked, coughing into your hand, and when someone asked if you were okay, you waved them off, avoiding his gaze.
He smirked, sipping his water like he hadn’t just propositioned you in a room full of Japan’s elite.
…..
It got worse.
During a meeting with the Hero Public Safety Commission, while a bureaucrat droned on about policy changes, Bakugou’s hands moved under the table. He made sure you were looking before signing: I’d rather have you ride me than sit here with these extras.
You froze mid-note, the pen slipping from your fingers. Your face burned as you ducked your head, pretending to scribble something in your notebook. Across the room, Kirishima noticed your sudden movement.
“Hey, you good?” he whispered.
“Fine!” you squeaked, glaring at Bakugou.
He tilted his head, feigning confusion, then casually leaned back in his chair. He looked so smug you wanted to scream.
At a press conference, surrounded by the press corps, TV cameras, and the elite of the hero world, Bakugou stood stiffly at the podium, bored out of his skull. Beside him, you shuffled the note cards you’d prepared, doing your best to stay focused on Midoriya’s answer to a question about villain reform strategies.
Bakugou glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, smirking at how focused you looked. That only made the idea pop into his head faster. He adjusted his stance, one hand casually coming up to rub his neck as the other signed with precision:
I’d fuck you so hard over this podium, the microphones would short out.
Your brain stalled like a computer blue-screening. The cards slipped from your hands, scattering onto the stage floor. You froze in horror as a sea of reporters looked up from their notebooks.
Midoriya, ever the anxious public speaker, stopped mid-sentence. “Uh, are you okay?” he asked.
“Y-yeah! Just... clumsy!” you stammered, dropping to your knees to collect the cards. You didn’t dare look at Bakugou, whose hand came up to his mouth as though stifling a yawn—but you knew he was hiding a smirk.
To make things worse, while you scrambled on the floor, he signed again, deliberately slower so you couldn’t miss it:
Would’ve pulled your hair too, just to hear you scream.
Your face burned so hot you were sure you’d melt through the stage.
It didn’t stop there.
At the next agency-wide meeting, Bakugou sat across from you in the conference room, arms crossed as a pro-hero you couldn't bother to listen to went on and on about new combat protocols. The room was packed with pro heroes, all seated shoulder-to-shoulder.
Bakugou, who’d already tuned out after the first ten minutes, caught your gaze and raised an eyebrow. Before you could react, his hands moved subtly under the table:
I’d eat you out on this table, right in front of everyone, and make sure you couldn’t stay quiet.
The coffee cup in your hand slipped, splashing onto your notes. You cursed under your breath, grabbing napkins to clean the mess.
Kirishima, sitting beside you, leaned over. “Whoa, you okay? You’ve been jumpy lately.”
You forced a smile, not daring to look at Bakugou, whose expression remained infuriatingly neutral. “I’m fine. Just tired.”
It became a game to him.
While Kirishima nodded and went back to his notes, Bakugou adjusted in his chair and signed again:
Bet you’d cry if I used my mouth the way I’m thinking. Probably beg me to stop—but you wouldn’t really mean it.
You slammed your pen down so hard it startled Kaminari, who glanced over with a confused look.
“You good?” he asked.
“I’m fine,” you snapped, refusing to look up.
Across the table, Bakugou leaned back, feigning boredom, but his eyes glinted with amusement.
It escalated during a casual outing with the crew.
Everyone had gathered at a bustling ramen joint after a long patrol, crowding into a booth that was way too small for so many people. Bakugou sat to your right, thigh pressed against yours under the table. As the conversation flowed around him, he picked up a pair of chopsticks and casually started eating.
Then, as Mina told a story about her latest villain takedown, he turned his head slightly toward you and signed with one hand:
The things I’d do to you under this table would make you scream so loud they’d kick us out.
You froze, chopsticks hovering mid-air. He didn’t even blink, slurping his noodles like he hadn’t just dropped a verbal nuke into your lap.
“What’s wrong?” Mina asked, noticing your deer-in-headlights expression.
“Uh… spicy broth,” you choked out, grabbing your water and gulping it down.
Bakugou, still chewing, glanced at you out of the corner of his eye and added another one for good measure:
Bet I could make you cum without anyone noticing. Wanna test that theory?
You almost choked on your drink, coughing so hard Kirishima patted your back in concern.
At a charity event, he raised the bar again.
The ballroom was filled with reporters, politicians, and wealthy donors, all eager to mingle with Japan’s most famous heroes. Bakugou hated these events with a burning passion, but at least you were there to make it tolerable.
You stood beside him, chatting politely with a group of businessmen, when you felt his gaze on you. Slowly, you turned your head, already dreading what was coming.
He didn’t disappoint. With the straightest face you’d ever seen, he signed:
You’d look so much better on your knees, with my cock down your throat, than in that dress.
Your hand shot out, nearly spilling your champagne as you fumbled to keep your composure. The Pro Hero you were speaking to paused mid-sentence, giving you a concerned look.
“Are you alright, ma’am?”
“I—I’m fine,” you stuttered, setting the glass down before you could break it.
Bakugou tilted his head innocently, signing again:
Bet you’d love it if I bent you over that balcony upstairs. Bet you’d be dripping by the time I was done.
Your jaw dropped, and you 'accidentally' kicked his shin under the table. He didn’t even flinch.
It wasn’t just formal settings, either. Bakugou would strike anywhere.
During a team training session, you were sparring with Kaminari while Bakugou watched from the sidelines. When you finally landed a clean hit, knocking Kaminari flat on his ass, Bakugou clapped slowly, catching your attention.
Wanna know what else you could knock flat? Me. On my back. With you riding me till I forget my own goddamn name.
Your sparring stance faltered, and Kaminari took the opportunity to trip you.
“Hey, you alright?” he asked, offering a hand to help you up.
“I’m fine!” you snapped, shooting a glare at Bakugou, who was grinning like he’d just won the lottery.
The worst of all came during a live broadcast.
The Hero Public Safety Commission had organized a televised Q&A with Japan’s top heroes. You sat between Bakugou and Midoriya, fielding questions from both the moderator and the live audience. Bakugou had been unusually quiet for most of the event, arms crossed, eyes half-lidded.
But then, while the moderator addressed Midoriya, Bakugou caught your attention.
His hands moved lazily, almost imperceptibly, as he signed:
After this, I’m gonna pin you to the wall in the dressing room and fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk out of here straight.
Your eyes widened, and you immediately looked away, heart hammering in your chest.
“And what about you?” the moderator asked, pulling your attention back to the present.
“I—I’m sorry, could you repeat the question?” you stammered, cheeks flaming.
Beside you, Bakugou leaned back in his chair, smirking as the moderator repeated the question. His hands shifted again, just enough for you to catch his next message:
If you blush any harder, they’re gonna think you’re into this.
You resisted the urge to scream.
Because, for Bakugou, nothing was funnier than watching you squirm. And knowing you were the only one who could decode his filthy little secrets? That was just the icing on the cake.
…..
Over time, the signing became a secret game. A language only the two of you shared, even if it was insanely one sided. In battle, it was strategic—efficient, silent communication when words couldn’t cut through the noise. Off the field? It was something else entirely.
After a particularly grueling patrol, Bakugou flopped onto the couch beside you, tugging his hearing aids out and tossing them onto the table.
“Another shitty day,” he muttered.
You hummed in agreement, leaning against him.
Without thinking, he signed: You’re the only thing that doesn’t piss me off.
You blinked, caught off guard. “What?”
He smirked, shaking his head. “Nothin’, Cupcake. Just watch the TV..”
And for once, you didn’t press.
Because sometimes, silence said enough.
#this was actually so hallarios to type LMAO#˚。⋆୨୧˚ kimmie's my hero academia masterlist#✧・゚writing from kimmie ✧・゚#💌・from me to u 💌#✿・kimmie’s lil daydreams・✿#🍒・blurb by kimmie・🍒#🎀・kimmie’s mini fics・🎀#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo katuski#bakugo katsuki#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou#bnha bakugou#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo mha#katsuki x you#bakugou#pro hero bakugou#pro hero dynamight#pro hero katsuki#my hero academia#mha#bnha#💌・one-shot wonders 💌#✧・゚: * kimmie's notes
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compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)
meh HoT gifs (3/?)
#alek gifs#ninjago#ninjago krux#ninjago acronix#hands of time#time twins#alternate title to this series is : stuff i noticed after watching this season 10 whole times#okay actually thats a lie. i realized this the 3rd time around#i think of acronix and how he barely makes any decisions for himself and i go crazy#ppl equate that with him feeling forced to do stuff.. uh hes always been a follower guys!!#cue him calling wu “master wu” even after the twins betrayal. him liking machia bc shes “mean” and bossy#he has no issue with following orders lol. prepare for a long acronix rant one day#contexts -> gif 1 barely counts i just wanted to include him looking at krux. he does this a lot during that fight#gif 2 is before they kill blunck and raggmunk (idk how to spell their names still ... sorry)#gif 3 is before they were going to kill wu in the golden hour legacy short. which is canon !!#gif 4 is before they sent themselves into the temporal vortex#that one post that was like “are we still doing revenge? yeah? cool” bc thats basically acronix#there is something fundamentally wrong with these two's brains but idk how to describe it#krux who literally lost his mind after losing his brother to the point he adopted an entire identity#“he just needed to go undercover!!” counter point as soon as acronix came back he was unable to pretend to be saunders. he acted super weird#like when kai was in the museum he couldnt pretend to be this person he wasnt. acronix was back !!! so was he. krux was 100% going to kill#the smith sibs if maya and ray didnt comply. also.. canonly they knew him when they worked as teachers back in s3. he watched them grow up#and pretended all was well meanwhile their parents were being forced to work and slave away to build the iron doom. he is not normal#then you have acronix who thrives off of violence and is described as throwing himself into battle like a blunt object. has no regard#for himself as a person and just takes (almost) everything his brother says as gospel. s7 couldve done smthn really cool with how#the only thing the twins ever really disagreed on was technology. also ive went on a semirant about how krux's hatred for tech was misplaced#hatred for losing acronix. wanted to travel to the pre modern era? okay well whyd he pick 40 years ago specifically. also NOTE that they#went back after their past selves had lost. they wouldve faired better if they went and helped their past selves. also the reversal blade#had already fallen so when the twins went back in time there was two kruxes. he literally went back to when he had been all alone for the#for the first time. he went back to when his life was ruined and his brother was gone!! but he had nix with him this time . ughdhf
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I saw a post saying that Nora bashes on therapy all throughout aftg and generally casts it in a bad light, and I was just like ??? Like, did we read the same books? Because it's made abundantly clear that most of the Foxes love Betsy and don't mind their required therapy sessions, and Andrew literally goes to therapy and visibly benefits from it. He chooses to go back even after he doesn't have to! Even Aaron comes around eventually after we learn that he didn't like it. It's literally only Neil who shows such a dramatic distaste for it, but even then, he still trusts Betsy to help Andrew and Aaron!
So I don't know what books they were reading, but to me, I think aftg actually showed therapy in a pretty positive light, even with the fact that the literal main character didn't like it. Like, not everyone likes the idea of therapy, that's just realistic, and if any character in aftg wouldn't like it, it's Neil, who had so many secrets to hide. And yet, despite that, we still see multiple characters obviously benefit from therapy and Betsy.
#i was literally so appalled and confused when i saw that post#like neil is the only one who doesnt like therapy. aaron to me seemed more apathetic to it and chose not to engage with betsy#but he still eventually started voluntarily going with andrew and it helped them!#we already know neil is an unreliable narrator so why would you take his dislike of therapy#and suddenly decide nora was bashing on therapy altogether? like almost every other character didnt mind it and the second main character#literally benefited from it so much!!!#sry for the rant i just did NOT understand that viewpoint#also no hate to the original poster (i cant even remember who it was 💀) i just thoroughly disagree#aftg#all for the game#andrew minyard#neil josten#andreil#the foxhole court#the raven king#the kings men#nora sakavic#betsy dobson
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"or dealing with a family member who erroneously believes that Game of Thrones isn’t very good" I don't know how to tell you this but... it isn't very good. go read asoiaf and maybe then you'll see the truth.
#the rest of this post was very good very helpful good post btw but this made me pause cause uh. well im a hater at heart if you didnt know#game of thrones is bad because it simply doesnt understand all the complexity of george's work#it relies on shock and violence to get the point across and dismiss much more emotional scene to make them badass instead#it lacks the subtle horror that george's books have because all they saw when reading it was the obvious big horrors#which isnt something an adaptation should gloss over but there are many details than when taken out#take out emotional payoffs in service of big blood bath. anyway#like 'the lannisters send their regards' or arya emotionlessly killing poliver with one quick cut of her sword cause she wanted to#or the change from bolton reigning over harrenhal to tywin becoming arya's wise daddy figure for some inconceivable reason#stripping that arc of every social commentary and gripping moments#anyway why am i ranting so much in the tags. oh yeah cause im a hater its in my dna#oh and also they fundamentally misunderstood some characters which i feel fine and normal about#and wrote off some of the best ones#asoiaf
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Thinkin bout my isat au now, I don't have much of an idea on it cuz tbf I barely changed anything other than well-- Odile is in pain now. Just thinking more bout scenarios that'd differ during the uhh... new loop+?????? How'd I even go about calling that new set of loops now?
Just that the most visible change would be on Odile who's now waaay more tired looking and a lil more slower than usual. So in a way her battle style becomes a lil bit like a glass cannon in that she hits HARD but takes time for her to get a hit in now. And as the loops go on, she becomes weaker on the defense department so she truly be a glass cannon. Odile also doesn't "level up" in this au too since she had already maxed her experience out, it's just that she's also slowly dying so to be fair-- Her exp is fine but her hp isn't and her lvl is being treated like a timer of her slowly approaching doom. So even if her levels lower, it won't really affect her experience and the spells she had already unlocked. To the Universe, she's still as experienced as a lvl 99 person, it's just that now she's becoming as fragile as someone lower leveled.
She retains her more powerful spells but using those spells would backfire on her and result in a recoil that ALSO hurts her, not as much as she damages the enemies, but a significant of her hp gets taken away still.
#aria rants#isat spoilers#isat au#edit: okay its all cleaned up now. everyone can look. this is why i should save to drafts first than posting immediately...#also am thinkin bout the moral dilemma with the friends now esp with mira as mira doesnt rlly Like knowing bout the previous miras#so when they eventually remember the previous loop. then i think she'd end up with a reaaaally confusing problem of#''i know what happened in the previous didnt happen now and i know you felt bad about it and i know i shouldnt be mad#about it either since im different than that mira but i also just cant help but feel hurt by it anyway but i KNOW I SHOULDNT--''#i think everyone would have a moment of confusion on How to take in the previous loop esp with the events that happened#during act 5. everyone is hurt. but they also shouldnt be hurt cuz that event technically Didnt happen in this timeline now#but they Remember it. they remember it happened. they remember how it felt. they remember how hurtful odile's words were#they remember but they shouldnt remember it. they understand odile but they also just cant help but be hurt by it anyway#and they Dont Know what to do with that now. they remember that loop and yet now theyre in a different loop#its in a past that never exists now but They Remember and they dont know what to do about it now#just yaknow-- the dilemma of remembering a past that doesnt exist and remembering the feelings of a past thats been overwritten#cuz frankly-- how Do you tackle that dilemma? you try to address it and it feels off. you try to understand it and it still hurts#and you cant dwell on it rn either cuz other than the life and death situation of the king freezing vaugarde in time. theres odile#whose life is slowly withering away like a flower in a vase with a water that has long dried up and its now at the mercy of wilting#of gems and pages au#ogap au
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genuinely feeling deeply emotionally under the weather cause of all the job hunting stuff honestly
#thunderclap#jobposting#wrote a huge rant in tags but decided against posting it. im just feeling really crestfallen at a lot of stuff lately#feels like i keep getting reality check after reality check for a lot of things i didnt sign up for#its also not helping that recently i got a comment from a family member that just completely obliterated my confidence again#after months of working on it (again). so thats been nice
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I was already thinking about Shadow so much today before the animation news, because I watched a Sonic Battle playthru
And just
Do you ever think about Shadow in Sonic Battle? How he says several times that he won't let tragedy repeat. Meaning, his kind of tragedy. The kind where he knows hes made to be a weapon, but doesn't know where from or why, or what his purpose is. And how he does go through with helping Emerl avoid that type of tragedy. He helps him uncover why he was made, so he can know where he came from and then choose his own purpose.
And then tragedy befalls Emerl anyway. The kind where his original destructive purpose is forced on him, and then he dies. And literally his last words are 'Shadow...should I be glad I was born...?'
Because I do, I think about this sometime and im not ok
#Sege rants#Sonic stuffs#Battle is fucked up for coming out a few days before Heroes and having a different type of characterization for Shadow#Which doesnt make sense if you place it post Heroes either#To me it makes the most sense post Shadow 05#And that placement makes me feral too because then Shadow has JUST come out of#Nearly having an original purpose he didnt even know about forced on him#No wonder his first instinct is to destroy Emerl bc he thinks of him as just a weapon and not a person#Before Sonic goes and reminds him. Hey. You were in a similar boat not too long ago and you saved the world#Also Emerl is a person. Give him a chance#And Shadow does and Emerl is someone he helps and relates to#And then this gizoid he started out thinking of as just a weapon fucking dies asking him if he should be glad he was born#Because he related to him too. He knew Shadow was made as a weapon too but is now living his own life#So logically to Emerl. Shadow would know the answer to that. And Shadow almost died once. Was he glad he was born as he fell to Earth?#Im unwell im feral about this ok#People have drawn headcanons of Sonics reaction to Gemerl#This Thing taking the form of Emerl. Almost like a zombie of him that will also never Be Emerl#Because Eggman is evil and fucked up#But not enough people think about what Shadow would think of this at least not that ive seen#And i think itd be one of those things where the emotions breach his stoic surface and you see a visible reaction#Before the anger takes over#And im just. RAAAGGHHHHH WHY WASNT SHADOW IN ADVANCE 3 RAGHHHH#Do you Understand
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when will aup sidestories return from war and stop leaving me bitter about how the main story ended
#lumensis' characterization & death + the revelation of ludgers desire were extremely anticlimactic#700+ chapters of building up only to have the resolution forcefully/hastily crammed into. what. 2 and 1/2 chapters?#and am i supposed to care for his relationship with his mom when it didnt come up in 99% of the novel?#tbh it had *many* opportunities to come up but the author wanted to keep ludgers desire as mysterious as possible#and so it lost its chance to have any emotional buildup#well other than the implications of regrets which were frankly a bit oversaturated in the novel#(again. what happened to the 'show dont tell' principles)#honestly even occasional flashbacks to ludgers mom teaching him about all kinds of myths and lores when its relevant#would have helped in this aspect plus showcased his growth and development over time even when its off screen#(doesnt make his vast knowledge look like it conveniently came out of nowhere)#while also greatly enhancing the world building of his game breaking 'real magic'#anyway i think ludgers reconciliation w his mother would have been more impactful if ludgers past life came up more often#hell it would have done wonder in exploring his depth if we are going with framing his past lifestyle as a flaw#the thing about ludger as a character is that his past (in both worlds) is much more interesting than his present#bc its the only way we can see how he mentally changed in comparison as his changes are nearly non existent in the present timeline#(a part of the reasons why ludgercaseys relationship over time is an appealing topic is that it showcases both of their changes)#(reading about a protagonist who has no mental changes over the course of the story is no different than watching... a nature documentary)#im still v salty about how we never get to see arpas and bettys reconciliation btw#so do emotional closures between ludger and other characters#those are literally the meat of the story that would be worthy of their own arc#sayren why the hell did you rush through them and put them off screen#in the end instead of proving that he has finally learnt his lessons by confronting his emotions ludger chose to run away from it yet again#even if we are to assume that is whats gonna happen post epilogue why is his change accomplished by a goddamn last minute timeskip#(that is also lowkey a failed suicide attempt in disguise)#instead of what could have been... idk... a banger novel named aup#good christ#rant
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damnnn was thinking of minedai and i think someone started cutting onions in my room haha
thinking about minedai always starts off like 'haha lmao mine so silly so silly yandere who would cry if daigo told him he was happy to have him as a friend' and then it quickly devolves into 'mine and daigo were both incredibly lonely people growing up one way or another, neither of them feeling as though they had a genuine relationship with someone until meeting each other' and then i throw up and cry
#snap chats#in mines case due to his status as an orphan he was just branded as an outcast by society#i mean his personability and his cynical others-favor-materialism ideology also fucked him over but yk. people like kanda didnt help#on the flip side there's daigo who- as the son of a yakuza boss and as a certified Rich Kid making friends wasnt easy#either people were scared of him or his dad or people only hung out with him for his family's name and money#and i know i just posted a rant bout it but ill briefly mention it again just for the sake of this post#but then theres losing the one person he felt he could genuinely trust after he takes the fall for killing his dad#ironic isnt it: mine was earnest in wanting relationships yet was terrible at getting them#meanwhile daigo had a natural talent for drawing people towards him but just couldnt find himself to totally trust them anymore#early 2000's era anyway- evidently he gets better#and instead of it being solely a trust issue its more of a matter of 'do people like me for me or because im their boss'#and then they find each other and its like a k-drama where daigo gets shot for mine after trying to pay off the people fuckin with them#slow mo and all. in my head anyway#wow i love them.....
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AAAAAUUUUUUGGGGHHHHH I love my brain 😃🔫
#YALL IM HERE THINKJNG ITS SUNDAY TODAY#IM GETTING READY FOR CHURCH AND EVERYTHING ONLY TO FIND OUT ITS SATURDAY#BECAUSE MY TIRED AHH CHECKED THE CLOCK LAST NIGHT AND IT WAS PASSED MIDNIGHT#SO IT WAS ALREADY SATURDAY#AND MY BRAIN JUST FAILED TO TELL ME THAT IN NEXT MORNING IS ALSO SATURDAY#LIKE I WAS WONDERING WHERE THE HELL FRIDAY WENT#BBRUUUUUUUHHHHH I COULDVE KEPT SLEEPING#NO WONDER MY ALARM DIDNT GO OFF THIS MORNING#I JUST WANNA SCREAM AND PUNCH A WALL AND BANG MY HEAD ON A WALL AND BURY MYSELF AND AAAAAA IM SO MAD AND EMBARRASSED#HOW DOES ONE SCREW UP LIKE THIS#IM TRIPPIN YALL TRIPPIN 😭#help me-#sez says#BIG FRIGGIN RANT POST BC IVE CLEARLY LOST IT
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School hasn't even started and I've already stressed myself out. The past few days it's looks like I've been sitting around doing nothing.
But my brain actually been going crazy thinking of stuff. trying to think of things I want to put in my locker, things I want to bring to class, if my bus will be picking up more or less kids and cause the time it'll pick me up to change even though I haven't gotten an email about it, trying to figure out where my locker is, trying to figure out where my classes are, trying to remember what people have said about certain teachers, setting a whole bunch of alarms for the morning and worrying that I won't wake up to them cause I'm heavy sleeper, or that I didn't put the volume all the way up or it was set to a different day or if it was set to pm instead of am. And worrying that I'll forget to take my anxiety meds (yes I have anxiety, what gave it away?) Because I rushed and forgot to take them before the bus, and then I either forgot to put extra in my bag (even though I know for a fact I did that) or that I'll just completely forget about it. I put on an alarm to remind me of meds and that helped but then I worried that it would go off on the bus which is usually very quiet in the mornings and most kids are sleeping, so I put the volume down and then I worry I won't hear it or I did it wrong and it'll go off loud anyway. And i wonder if I'll know anyone in my classes, and if I'll be awkward and mess up the introductions and ice breakers, so I thought of trying to plan out some answers to that stuff but I don't know what they'll ask. And then I think about the fact that it'll be cold in the morning so I'll probably wear pants and a sweater and maybe a coat and hat, but then what if during the day it's hot and I wish I had worn something lighter, even though I wore pants and a sweater for the majority of the year last year. And I worry about missing my bus cause that happened alot last year. And then I think about the fact that I should probably download some episodes of the podcast I've been listening to (the penumbra podcast), but also the fact that I can't listen to podcasts all day like I've been doing through the summer cause I won't be able to pay attention, but I also haven't updated my music in a good while but that probably doesn't matter cause I'll like what I had before anyway. And then I wonder if I'll wake up in time to make my lunch and get my Waterbottle, and that I might get hungry in the day if I don't have time to pack enough snacks and that I always brought a Waterbottle last year because the school has water fountains but only to fill up waterbottles and they don't give out cups so if you don't have a bottle to fill you have to buy one and I won't have money so I'd be thirsty, and if I'll get homework, and if my friends will be awkward around me cause I've missed a bunch of dnd sessions lately even though they're all nice and I don't think they'd be like that. And if someone who has a locker near me or sits near me in class is someone I don't like cause the seats don't really change after the first day and one time last year the guy in the locker beside me told me his friend thought I was cute and it was really awkward. And what if I mess up trying to find my classes and walk into a random classroom full of kids staring at me and if my headphones are charged enough cause if they die and I'm without music or podcasts that would be terrible, and what if I forget them altogether? Has my phone's battery gotten worse? It is an old phone, will it last through the day? And-
Yeah. This'll be great.
#ranting in this post helped but i also didnt?#generalized anxiety disorder#school anxiety#anxitey#first day of school#rant#anxiety rant
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what if. hypothetically. i didnt sacrifice the chargers in demands of the qun :(
#k im abt to go on a huge tag rant sorry#tay plays dai#oc: ashara#THIS HAS BEEN ASHARAS CANON FOR SOOOOO LONGGGGGG#BUT I HATE IT#and the more i think about the more im like GOD.#the thing abt that choice is that ill die on the hill that it can be ethical even if the game wants it to be taken as the cruel choice#ashara saves the dreadnought bc she theorizes there are more people on the ship. and she would be actively betraying them if she didnt help#SHE made a deal and she holds true to her deals.#the people in the dreadnought are someones friends and family and lovers like...... they dont mean any less than the chargers do#and also just like.... she respects the qun in theory and has an interest in it altho shes not like. a fan lol. and she wont force bull#into betraying his people and losing his culture over her own weakness yknow. bc she knows he'll be tal vashoth and hunted#and she wants to protect him from that#and it turns out misguided obviously by the end of tresspasser#hhhhhhh#i also think the idea of her being betrayed by blackwall solas AND iron bull is a good foundation for her losing all trust in everything#post tresspasser#BUT. IDK.#I HATE THE IDEA THAT SHE WOULD SACRIFICE HER PEOPLE. BC FUCK THAT NO SHE WOULDNT !!!#she can be ruthless but to her ENEMIES !!! never intentionally to the people shes in charge of protecting !!!#and i dont like the parallel that reinforces to solas yknow. his snide 'what abt ur friend the iron bull' line makes me see red JFGKJFGKJFG#idk#this is so difficult. mostly its the solas thing tho he does NOT deserve that W to hold over her yknow :(
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having not played rhythm games for months and then picking up kamicity ensemble ive gotten SO bad at proseka. i was like its so over but im finally down to 5 greats it may possible to ap maximizer ex yet.
#god i would love to ap maximizer in ensemble ensembles beat map for maximizer is incomparable to proseka its SOOO good#proseka had so many options to make the maximizer beat map so so fun and interesting and they just did not#its so unfulfilling. speaking from playing both ex & master modes. theyre so unfulfilling#ensemble doesnt even have sliding or flick notes & its 10x as satisfying to play. they did sooo good with maximizer#im glad they didnt make it a glitch song but its they decided to make a glitch ver in the future it would also be amazing#im starting to get more used to using 4 fingers for ensemble so i was like! lets try phony!#i was not prepared to need at least 5 fingers to play & i was always in the wrong position for the multi notes#so rough but it would be sooooo fun once i can manage it#the lanes are rough for me in ensemble tho im constantly missing for not spreading my fingers enough. sad.#also it loves to drop inputs for me. i have very clearly pressed to at least get a good & it just. doesnt register#it also doesnt help i play ensemble sooo slow. and then going to prosekas 10.9 speed is. so fast.#all the notes are coming to beat me up at once.#its fine after playing one song but the first one is rough#i do love proseka beat maps a lot of them are so perfect but they just did not deliver with maximizer unfortunately#i had. SOOO much hope after realize. realize is so fucking fun to play. maximizer did not live up to that & it very well couldve#if shuuen touhikou ever gets in they better do that one justice#this is also not to say i think prosekas maximizer beat map is Bad. its not bad its just averagely fun to me#we couldve had fun little details in the long notes & some of the tap note arrangements dont sit perfectly with me but its not bad#like kyoufuu all back? perfect beat map playing master is so fucking fun i love that#compared to that the maximizer beat map is so nothing#ensemble beat maps are usually really fun too i hope SOOOO badly laboratory & either kannagi or yamete kudasai get added#at the very LEAST. PLEASE. olease put in One song where someone even Sort Of knows how to tune rime#bc these songs do Not show off how good she is. they Are good songs. in general. people cant tune rime tho for some reason#.... thats a different rant ive gone on before & will again but we've lost the point of the post by now
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Why is the qs/mp tag such shit at the moment
Oh right twitter died
I am so annoyed.
I blocking everyone but still it is such garbage
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Edit:
So I accidentally queued this but I am allowing it to be posted cause
???
What happened that made me so upset
I mean I was really into it for months and I think this js a month into me loving it
Present me is kinda??? Like I haven't touched it in months
I think I still like it
This just became off topic
Just what happened me???
I don't remember the qsmp tag being too bad
Like sometimes it was bad but dude it normally takes awhile for me to get upset
Like I clearly planned to post this at somepoint as the first tag js queued???
Also I have bad memory when it comes to order of events and things.
When I retell things I have to keep hoping around
Point is I am fascinated by past me and this is actually bringing me some joy???
#queued#7/4/2023#like please just shut up#there is valid criticism in the garbage but oh my lord#I dont want to read your posts if you are assholes about it#rant#vent#this post is literally nothing#tags from after april 2024#i need to focus more#also I hope future me if I at somepoint come reread this blog like 5 years in the future thaf I can find joy#like most posts are me in a bad space but I just hope future me is in a better space and cam just go#It is fine. you will be fine. the world isn't that bad and you will make it#i looked at pictures of past me and none were sad or anything and I still when aww past me#i feel the need to soothe past me??? so i hope it is the same in the future#it brings comfort and joy. it helps i guess.#right now everything feels too fresh even though some posts are almost 2 years old i believe#it was about work i think and well I could go back and add that it didnt suck and you dont hate it... most of yhe time#maybe i will do that. comfort myself and make me feel better
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Wakes up at 1pm, eyes cannot stay open, tries to keep my eyes from closing, too eepy, tries to keep my eyes from closing-- Wakes up at 2pm--
#aria rants#eyes falling again but am hopin that makin this post can help keep it open#you see. i didnt have this problem before cuz once i wake up id pull myself up immediately#to keep myself from falling asleep again but being old sucks cuz i cant do that anymore#cuz my body discovered low blood pressure and the terrible consequences of suddenly standing up#after laying down like cmon now. i got debuffed and im only 24. also i say pull myself up cuz#i got bunk bed. i love my bunk bed. too lazy to handle my own weight? reach for the ladder#then pull. and then im up. bunk beds are the best simply cuz of that ladder i use to just pull me up
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i'm gonna be honest people need to be more normal about celebrities wearing glasses in public and in photoshoota
#totally didn't make this post bc i'm salty i can't find a proper wonwoo pfp with his glasses on#he looks so handsome no matter what but!!!!! the glasses!!!! i also have glasses!!! it becomes gender!!!!!#please help my poor boy he can't see shit!!!!!#text#kodi's posts#kodi rants#general#? i guess#i didnt mention kpop in the post so it counts haha
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